things you should've said to your ownself too!!

thats what you might call; selftalk!

"Anggi, what you did is beautiful.
and you've put yourself in a long restless battle.
you've been tired,
of fighting, of sacrificing, of trying.
you're scared to realize it all and to take a break.
because you might not be able to continue anymore.
well then dont take a break.
its just dont forget to breath too.
and sometimes, take a glance to the sky,
show your gratefulness to God up there.
then wash your face,
stand up, sit up,
carry the bag, open your books, study.
you have no idea what is waiting for you ahead."

this is cheesy, but who cares?

2013---1

When it comes to the future,

Nothing else matters.

-p.puteri

---3

Because at least when I was far from you,
I could think that you'd thought I was cool for once.
Or that I was busy enough
to think of you loving her for once.
Or that I could find a hope
to forget you for once.
Or that, somehow, I could think
you weren't worth the hurts and everything for once.
But I did travel a half way around the world,
and for God's sake I was scared to death
to lose you even when you're not mine.
This is the most beautiful thing I hate very much;
Loving you.

-p.puteri

---2

It's hard to believe.
But after all these times,
it's still you.

-p.puteri

---1

And I really think that the most difficult thing
as well as the saddest thing
to do is to wonder who you love,
who is in your heart..
It hurts constantly when I think of you,
wondering when you will break my heart for sure.
In the mean time, I die daily.
All is just because of you.
If only you know how cruel it is to love you.
But you don't.

-p.puteri
January 14 2013

I am fighting for my impossible-5-percent

I am surely trying so hard at school
you know, taking hard classes
next semester I'll be in Brit Lit University of Wisconsin class and UW Calc 2 and American Government and UW Anatomy and Physiology
and US History, French, and chorale
and I am thinking about taking college here since it is so attempting to study abroad and come back here as an American and live their lives
dont you think?
but likely it is ...... 95 % over 100 % saying that I am not gonna be here anymore ever after coming back at June 26 next year
but you know what?
before I came here and being a candidate for YES program
I also had NO SUCH DREAM EVER VISITING AMERICA EVEN FOR A SEC
but the fact is I am here, typing these words, and I am so in Oshkosh WI
and so I save 5 % over 100 % for me to hope. this time, a real hope
and I am doing everything that I could ever do to fight for my 5 %
what do you think?
cause even if it doesnt work
struggling for my own goods never really hurts me

I want to travel around the world,
and try to heal this broken heart.

Cause I am too tired crying the whole night
pity myself on the pillow
thinking about things I dont have that I want

I think it comes the time I should be healed
and by blowing by the night wind
surrounding with tall building
with scarf around my neck, tries to get me warm though it wouldn't
and once not thinking about him, cause it's not always about him
is the peaceful time I should ever had.