Hey! I Love You! (Part 2)

It’s July 27

Getting closer than I expect

Getting shorter uncontrolled

My heart is trembling

I’m shaking

It’s already cold

I cry, but there are no tears

Am I now reaching the highest point of sad?

That now there’re no tears left to shed?

It’s July 27

Come to me, please!

Say ‘I love you’

I don’t want to lose you

Even if it’s true that I am losing you

In a short period of time

For one year of beginning

And in forever of ending.

                                                                                                                -p.puteri

Hey! I Love You! (Part 1)

Do you feel the same way?

That you’ll miss me someday?

It’s not about a feeling to a friend

But it’s either some feeling you don’t understand

Confess it! I’m leaving!

                                                                                                -p.puteri

finally, a dream of you!

This hurts me so bad

My hand’s shaking when I’m thinking of you and write

My heart’s crying and wake

And I know, I got something to confess.

In the middle of the night

I, for the first time, dream of you

In that dream even I lost you

You’re in love with a girl I wonder

I am leaving, I am counting the days

And it’s too short now, am I truly losing you?

I over-think about everything

But I forget to think about the last day of you

The last day I see you, how would it be?

Hey, I won’t be able to watch you anymore

For this short period of time

And so will you, you won’t be able to see me anymore

For the last minute I ask again to you,

Is there something you want me to figure out?

                                                                                                                -p.puteri

a story of three debaters

my dear friends,

so hard to think about my last day to see you. my last day when i am completely gone and leave our laughter. cry is always in my eyes, but i just don't show them.

i am thinking now about our last debate, our last sparing, my last sleepover with you guys. i just completely remember about every little detail we have done. i could write essays and essays and still it's not enough.

so i just want you to flashback to the past.

when we were just that green in that debate and i absolutely embarrassed myself by telling "we can be more creative" over and over again.
but you can see now that we three have developed our ability in the way we are.

i don't know that you will care about our last debate. but you start to cry and it reminded me about everything i have learned and felt.

there is a character who keep forgiving, keep being forgiven, and always be a good girl. there is one of us who always have excuses and compromises, but can you guarantee that i won't miss that someday?

i have many words to write down. but maybe it's better for me to keep it by myself. but the point is i really will miss every small-silly-meeting that we planned in some places. and "she" started to excuse and walk away. it made us sick but we still laughed it.

someday people will realize it that there was a time that three girls were so solid, and then, just that simple, someone has replaced it.

just good luck girls! for three of us!

at one time, i see things turn upside down

a thing has turned upside down. funny.

and then i realized that now i am the one who
don't notice you.
am i right?

i just feel that you, sometimes, see me
but i don't
and you, sometimes, keep coming around
but i don't care
you want to talk to me,
but i don't let it
you, just maybe, and just sometimes, seem
want to be noticed by me
but i refuse to
so is that me now? who act the same like you did?

with these words,
i hope you understand that i still watch you around
pay attention to every move you make. lol
but i just stop showing it.

if only this is true,
then why it is now?
when my flight date is just easy to count?
when my day is just that short and tight
and i no longer have time to have a nice chat with everyone
when the only thing left to be focused on
is packing!
huh, why?

:)

well, i already start to count down the days until i am leaving. it is 53 days left before my flight. it's getting harder and harder to go to school and meet friends. they now start to talk about course and college and faculty and everything about one year to go.
it hurts sometimes. but Mr Alvin said to us in the visa camp that 'if i put an option of staying here in Indonesia for one year to go to be with close friends and the same school for three years and familiar situation, and compare it with leaving to America and live with a very NICE AND CHEERFUL family and have new good friends and study in a totally different high school and experience lots of valuable things that i won't able to count them by myself, it'll show a totally unbalance thing.'

i believe that graduate the high school normally is nothing deserve to compare with study for two GREAT semesters in America.
so why don't i just respect what i've reached so i am here now as the YES candidate, and just stop doubting anything, right?
well, i realize that actually having one year to go in Indonesia is just another year, i can stay in Indonesia for whole my life if i choose too. but having gone to America is like dream comes true, that i can't choose it everyday, that i have to work this hard to make it, that i do sacrifice another things wholeheartedly, that it is like one in a million. so why am i this fool to be sad about leaving, right?